Managing Guilt – Mourning The Loss of a Loved One

Manage Guilt When Mourning the Loss of a Loved One

GriefAre you feeling guilt for having not done something to prevent your loved one from dying? This does not happen to everyone who has lost their beloved. Guilt may take forms like failure to notice how serious a person was, failure to make regular visits or even letting one suffer in the hand of unqualified professions. Grief comes in many colors.

Here are some suggestions on how you can deal with guilt when mourning your loved one.

  • Never forget: We normally tend to evaluate the state in which our loved ones was time at the time of death. Some circumstances are not created by anyone, but we tend to blame ourselves for things that did not go well.
  • Neurotic guilt: We tend to torment ourselves with the thoughts that there is something we could have done to avoid death. Questions like ‘why was I not the one who died instead of him or her?’ are common. This should never be the case because death was to strike at anyone.
  • Actions from the past: In some cases, there are those things that probably happened in the past and if they tend to happen again in the present, one would take it as a form of blame.
  • Guilt of doing something that you already know that it is wrong. It is because of rationality that we still have stable societies. The kind of guilt that emanates from that makes us blame ourselves for a long time.
  • Learn to separate shame from guilt. Shame may be caused by the kind of death that has occurred like suicide or drug abuse. You are never responsible for such kind of situations and death was to occur in the end.
  • You should evaluate whether your behavior was deliberate. It is not possible for you to be everywhere and prevent things from happening. In fact, death is not predictable so it is never your fault.
  • Imagine yourself as a counselor who is helping a person deal with a situation. Counselors do not blame anyone; they try to solve issues so you should also treat yourself the same way.

For more on dealing with grief, visit Dr. Christina Hibbert’s Website: http://drchristinahibbert.com

and her Kindle Book on Grief and self worth


How To Conquer The Fear Of Losing Someone · Daniel Hill EFT NLP Coach

Stamped Concrete – Transform Your Backyard Surfaces

pool deck coating

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It’s important to know there are three types of stamped concrete surfaces you can choose to enhance the look of your otherwise dull concrete surfaces at your home.

Probably, the oldest form of stamping of concrete is accomplished by using a metal or vinyl stamping tools to imprint on freshly poured concrete slabs.  Various methods use upright, stand behind tools that is pushed into the wet surface to achieve the desired finish.  Most recently, imprinting fresh concrete can be done with vinyl “skins” that are laid over the concrete and pressed with heavy rolling tools or by walking on the stamps.

Either method can achieve a variety of finishes to your new concrete surfaces, pool deck repairs or patio coatings.

The advantages of this option allows for a permanent pattern that will last as long as your concrete.  (Maybe forever!)

The downside is that the colors used to enhance the look of your concrete surface may not last forever and recoloring may never restore it’s original rich look and luster finish.  Also, if the concrete cracks or becomes damaged the beautiful finish becomes marred and the repairs may prove inadequate.

In many cases, a concrete slab is already installed and the extra cost to break it out and remove it makes the project too expensive.

An alternative is to “overlay” the existing concrete surface with a thin layer of modified concrete coating, where a similar stamped concrete process is achievable.  Though the coating is thinner than concrete (about ¼ to ½ inch in thickness) there are special stamping tools to achieve very similar finishes to the full concrete stamping process.

The additional advantage of this option allows for more variety than typically can be achieved with the full process of stamping four inches of concrete.

The downside of this option is that it will likely not last as long as your concrete will.  There is a big risk that the overlaid coating might become delaminated from your original concrete surface.  Patching a stamped overlay can also prove to be unsuccessful in restoring the original beauty you should expect.

Additionally, the colors often fade and become quite unsightly, revealing a most unbecoming look for your concrete surfaces.

Lastly, a system often mistaken for stamped concrete is also a concrete overlay, however, this system is merely about 1/8 inch in thickness.  Many applicators of thin overlay coatings use stencils, resembling the finishes acquired with a stamped overly system.

Other applicators don’t use stamps or stencils but instead create pattern and texture strictly by the skilled use of their trowels.  This option is less common because there are fewer skilled applicators in this trade.

Many installers and applicators are successful in creating a variety of beautiful finishes, however, few there are that can recreate the rich and vibrant look of natural stone.

Those that can create a natural looking stone finish on a concrete coating are in high demand by the homeowner or designer who are seeking the durability of concrete than can take on the look of natural flagstone or travertine tile.

This third option, using thin concrete coating overlays, has an infinite variety of textures and finishes possible for concrete surfaces in your backyard, including patios, pool deck and sidewalks.

Your plain concrete surfaces are a veritable blank canvas for the artisan and craftsman capable of creating beautiful, natural looking stone finishes.

The skilled craftsmen choose the very best materials for which they use to create their masterpiece concrete coatings.  Rest assured that such an artisan in his craft would not use substandard materials that would not endure the use for which it was intended.

Whatever you choose to beautify your backyard resort, whether Stamped Concrete, Stamped overlay or thin trowelled overlay concrete coatings, be sure to select your applicator or installer with care.

Be sure to asked these tree questions of every one you interview:

  • How much experience to they have?
  • What is the Warranty? and
  • What is the maintenance required to keep your concrete coatings beautiful

Best wishes on your Home resort projects.

Home Improvement Season 4 Episode 19 The Naked Truth cool man

5 Secrets to Marriage Counseling

Five secrets on handling marriage counseling

Marital therapy is adopted by people due to a variety of reasons. Some couples may be experiencing conflicts or even some may be happily in marriage, but take counseling so as to enhance their relationship. It is normally used as a final move to stop divorce and also as a way of enhancing relationships. Conflicts are experienced by all married couples in their relationships. How couples deal with every problem is very critical in solving these differences. Couples should be open in whatever they undertake towards this course. There are five critical roles that they should play.

In need of marriage counseling: The couples should agree mutually to have marital counseling work to their marital problems. Doing this will greatly improve the chances of therapy’s success. They should not assume that they can handle their problems on their own as this may greatly escalate the problem.

marriage counselingAssess your insurance policy: Doing this, you will be enabled to know the number of sessions in counseling and therapist credentials covered by the policy. Sometimes you may be forced to pay directly from your pocket. Your therapy expenses should be discussed by your potential marriage counselor.

Select the right counselor: This is very crucial if marital therapy is going to succeed. An inexperienced therapist may worsen the problem. A phone consultation is a recommended way of determining if you will be able to work well with your prospective counselor or not.

Therapy participation: For you to be able to achieve the goals and ambitions of marriage counseling, the couples should engage in every aspect of therapy actively. This way you may be in a position to find an effective way of expressing your problems.

Willingness and honest: The couples should be prepared to attend the marital counseling with the aim of listening honestly and communicating in the best way possible. The communication skills and problem solving techniques learned are very invaluable assets for the couples. These skills and techniques should be continuously employed after the therapy so as to be able to maintain a healthy relationship.

Other videos on Marriage Counseling:


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