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Thank you for sharing this, Ami!
thanks for watching it : )
i lost my younger brother to a drug overdose may 7 2012,and i cant seem to
get over it,now i am abusing drugs to cope and feel guilty,full of
woulda,coulda,shoulda,it has tore our family apart,and personally feel like
i will never be the same again,to see a perfectly healthy young person one
day,and then bury them the next,so full of life,drug addiction is truly a
horrible disease,a hope you find peace,for me,i feel only death will ease
oh crap, Sweetie. May 2012 is relatively not long ago. Believe me when I
tell you you’re still in the beginning, most difficult part of grief. What
helped me get through the hardest times (like the first few years) was
reaching out to anyone who was compassionate, listened well & understood
grief from a similar situation. I went to bereavement support groups (thru
Hospice) & a grief counselor & NA mtgs (narcotics anonymous), & studied
addiction… anything…everything that drew me in.
If I could be so bold as to suggest you reach I out… you may want to go
to an NA mtg to help you stop abusing drugs. None of you… you or your
family, need you to go any further down that road. Also, grief counseling
is helpful if you’re feeling like death is the way out of pain… it’s not
the only way… & thinking that way is a sign that you need help to get
through these very, very, crazy hard times. You may want to talk w/ your
family too about family-grief-counseling… very helpful.
oh, and this: Be Gentle with Yourself. Be gentle with yourself, dear One.
on guilt (& the woulda, coulda, shoulda’s)… I found it most helpful to
look at my guilty thoughts straight on to see what’s mine to learn from,
what’s not mine to own, what I can’t change & what I need to learn to
forgive (in myself, Michelle, others…). Guilt can be a good tool if we
use it well. If it’s kept hazy in the background (“I don’t want to look at
it”) it seems to leave a residue of confusing & heavy fog…not helpful to
please write again & tell me more about you, your brother, your family…
if you’d like.
his addiction was to prescription drugs,but he was secretly doing cocaine,i
didnt know he was doing it(although 2 times i had to rush to his house in
the middle of the night after a call for help,to find him on the
floor,confused,complaining of chest pains)when i confronted him about
possible cocaine use he denied it,and i marked it off to as panic
attack,even though i felt he was lying,only after he died did his ex wife
confirm his usage and tales of latenight trips to ER and near misses
he went to jail for 3 months,and said he was clean,he got out on a sun and
i was suppose to meet with him in person that fri,thurs at 2pm i get a call
that our 18 yr old younger brother found him unconscious in his bed and
that i had better get to the hospital,i arrive to see him on life support
in a coma,i broke down,collapsed to the floor and felt a pain so intense
and mental anguish i cant describe,they pulled the plug 3 days later and
all i could think is that i wanted to go with him
i had talked to him the day before he died,but hadnt seen him since his
incarceration 3 months prior,i believe his soul was released before the
ambulance even came,because hours before i knew what had happened all i
could think about was him,i must have told 10 stories about him from 8am
until 2pm,to anyone that would listen, even texting him at 10am,he was last
seen alive at 2am,it was not a normal day,my thoughts were all of him
How are you doing Sweetie?
hanging in there,just taking it one day at a time.thanks for asking
one day at a time is good.
been drug free since jan 1,been exercising and eating healthy,withdrawals
put me down for 30 days and a very deep depression
OMG… that’s amazing!! I’m so proud of you. 30 days is a long time to be
so far down. I’m so sorry you went through that. but what a miracle to come
out here… drug free, exercising, eating healthy… truly life changing.
how are things going for you?
Life is challenging right now. I am now full-time guardian of my 10 yo
grandson. He was almost 2 when my daughter/ his mom left (out of her body)
and has been left with a lot to deal with. His challenges have trickled
onto me, being the main parental figure in his life, and it’s especially
challenging to transition from a more sedate, adult lifestyle back to
i know what you mean,my son was born 2 months after my brother died. he
left behind 4 kids
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