25 thoughts on “Dealing with Death & Guilt

  1. Nivea HeartsBeauty says:


  2. AlexLee12 says:

    So sorry to hear about your friend. She would be proud of you today and see
    how well your doing for yourself. 

  3. Kendra Overton says:

    Condolences ma, your awesome for sharing that message, we love you! And
    take heed, tomorrow is not promised so tell peeps you love them today!

  4. livelaughlisten14 says:

    I’m so sorry for your loss Amber. I’m really glad you’ve come to the place
    where you know you couldn’t have changed things. Everybody has their time
    to go, but when a death is unexpected it doesn’t feel like it should have
    been their time. But it’s out of our control and we just have to trust that
    things will be ok.

  5. Michelle B. says:

    Thank you for sharing such a personal and heat felt story and hope your
    post helps others….

  6. Tuh Smiiley says:

    Damn You Reminded Me Of My BestFriend He Pass Away R.I.P

  7. Tanny Tizzle says:

    This is the definition of strength…. the fact that you are even sharing
    this with us is just unbelievable. U have my upmost respect and also my
    condolences. ♥

  8. MOODYGIRl says:

    Hey, hello +Amber sCloset I dealt with something like this in my last year
    of high school as well. We use to do dumb shit like steal cars. Even thou I
    was never the one to steal them just ride in them. However, the last time
    we got locked up, he (my friend) tried to call me, but due to my mom was
    strict I could not accept the collect call. So he died hanging with the
    wrong people due to, I could not get in contact with him by accepting a
    collect call due to my mom. He died during a robbery; he was the getaway
    driver or something to this day I blame myself; I should have ignored my
    mother & accepted that phone call; he would have been alive today. He was
    only 16 at the time he died. Thank you so much for sharing this. 

  9. sbaglioscherzo says:

    So sorry for your loss, Amber. Did they ever catch the person who hit her,
    and if so, what happened to them?

  10. Ashscuz says:

    Cousin I just wanted to hug you that whole video. I remember that day and I
    remember the beautiful strength her mom had at your graduation she has a
    beautiful friend in you and she knows how much you love her. Her spirit is
    with you every day. You are such an amazing person. I love you 

  11. Fatima Deen says:

    I LOVE how vulnerable and open you are in this video Amber, we don’t have
    many YTers who are opaque anymore. I appreciate you sharing and I’m sorry
    for your loss… 

  12. daje austin says:

    This was extremely brave of you

  13. anuputaphobic pulchritudinous says:

    Thanks for being strong and opening up to us so we can hear your story..
    everyone is not perfect. . .. 

  14. Dee Sova says:

    Dear sweet Amber. Thank you so much for doing this video and for
    remembering my daughter Sharmelia. I want you to know what a blessing you
    are and how thankful I & my family are to know that Sharmelia had amazing
    friends in her life such as you, Ashton, Corey and the rest of the gang.
    You all helped her to realize, during those precious years, how awesome we
    all knew she was! And for that I am forever grateful. Had it not been for
    your friendships, she couldn’t have made it at CBHS! Please rid yourself of
    the guilt and belief that you could’ve done something to save my baby!! We
    all have an appointment with death. And as tragic as the events of December
    2, 2003 were, it happened in God’s timing. I lived with guilt for years
    after she was killed about what I could’ve done to make her life better. We
    struggled, as I was a single parent for years and that always haunted me.
    But the beauty of it all was the impact that her death has had on thousands
    of teens across the country. She inspired me to become a better woman, I’ve
    spoken at high schools every since in honor of her. And kids who never knew
    her have become adults with an awareness of the dangers of drinking &
    driving because of what happened. Listen to me Amber (tear), you made an
    impact on Sharmelia just by being the awesome friend that you were!! I
    could never forget what you and the rest of the gang gave her……REAL
    LOVE & TRUE FRIENDSHIP. I witnessed it every time you all were around one
    another and whenever she spoke of you, your sister, Corey, Christine, etc.
    we knew who her friends were 😉 and that’s what’s up! As far as her coming
    out about liking girls, I didn’t know until after she was killed but I’m am
    so glad she had you to share that with. It wouldn’t have mattered to me one
    bit what her preference was because she was amazing! I always suspected, by
    the way but she kept that from me. Just so you know, I’m proud of you for
    coming out & sharing your life with thousands…..you really are awesome!!
    I’m sure Sharmy is looking down from Heaven smiling right now saying,
    “Right on Amber!” I love you dearly and keep doing what you’re
    doing….changing lives one video at a time 😉 Dee Sova ( Sharmelia…..We
    shall never forget you) 

  15. Bibi Fresh says:

    God bless you Amber! 

  16. Shera Bello says:

    We love you too. :~*

  17. Cheekz Roberts says:

    Hey I’m a new subscriber! Love all your videos. You are so amazing <3 I'm
    so so sorry for your loss love. Stay strong.

  18. elisa avraham says:

    Sorry for your loss.there was nothing you could have done, except to make
    sure the drunk driver got what is due him..and justice for your friend…
    thank God for your friend and that you are alive..it could have been you.

  19. Bigbrwngull says:

    Something told me I needed to come check you out. Hugs babycakes *muah*

  20. BombshellZaneTV says:

    So sorry for your loss… :,( I feel for you so much Amber because I go
    through the same feelings when it comes to my grandmother’s passing . I
    dropped a few tears watching this because everything that happened was so
    sad . Just continue to stay strong, we’re all here for you ♥♥♥ loveee

  21. Jelly&DayVlog says:

    I am SO sorry to hear this Amber. Losing someone is the hardest situation
    to deal with. Don’t feel guilty for what happened, you could’ve prevented
    that from happening.

    Stay strong. <3

  22. Chris T. says:

    I am so sorry to hear about your best friend. That is too much to deal with
    at any age, let alone a teenager. It absolutely was not your fault. You
    don’t control life and death. Try to let the guilt go.

  23. ashmoonz says:

    Sending you love, hugs, and happy thoughts. You are in my prayers. I went
    through a similar situation which has left me with a lot of guilt but, as
    you said, it’s not healthy. What happened to your best friend was not your
    fault in any way and I hope you can find peace in the fact that she did
    know how much you love her and that you were such a great friend to her.
    You will meet again some day but in the mean time, try this: I was told as
    a kid that when someone we love passes away and becomes an angel, they come
    to visit during the day disguised as butterflies. Every time I’ve lost
    someone I’ve seen a butterfly the day of their passing as well as at the
    funeral services. I truly believe butterflies are our angels waving
    “hello”. <3

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